Why Marketing Feels Unsafe—and How Healing Helped Me Show Up Anyway

For decades, I felt stuck in this frustrating holding pattern—like a plane throttling up, engines roaring, ready for takeoff, but never quite lifting off. You know that moment when you’re all revved up and just itching to soar, but the takeoff keeps getting pushed back? That was me, over and over. I threw myself into every strategy I could find—checked all the boxes, hustled hard—but none of it ever quite landed. Because no matter how much I tried to show up, I still felt unsafe, like I was stepping into a warzone I wasn’t ready for. That underlying sense of threat kept me frozen, stuck in limbo where real progress felt painfully out of reach.

Living with anxiety and CPTSD made it feel like I was wrestling an invisible, sneaky force hell-bent on keeping me locked in place. It wasn’t just about getting things done or focusing harder; it was about untangling deep-rooted fears, doubts, and overwhelm that turned every step forward into a battlefield.

Here’s the thing I’ve finally grabbed onto—healing isn’t a one-and-done deal; it’s an ongoing journey. I stay connected with the little boy inside me who fought so damn hard just to feel safe, who had to invent survival tactics that no longer serve me as an adult. Honoring that part of myself and gently rewriting those old stories is a continuous process. Slowing down isn’t hitting pause forever; it’s carving out space for that healing so I can move forward with real strength and freedom.

You know that feeling—the one where even thinking about promoting your coaching business kicks up a storm of doubt and second-guessing? You want to stand out, but the fear of saying the wrong thing or facing silence feels like walking a tightrope above a pit of rejection. A lot of coaches think the answer is to push harder, hustle nonstop, and crank out campaigns on fumes. But what if the real secret isn’t speeding up—it’s slowing down? Imagine giving yourself permission to breathe, reconnect with your authentic message, and genuinely engage your audience (and yourself) without anxiety, pulling the strings.

Why Marketing Causes Anxiety for Coaches

Marketing feels like standing under a spotlight—every word, every image, every call to action feels loaded with the potential for judgment. For coaches, marketing anxiety is more than just writing emails or putting up posts; it’s the high-stakes pressure of representing a personal brand and mission. There’s an underlying belief that each campaign needs to land perfectly, as if one misstep could shatter credibility or drive potential clients away for good.

The fear of rejection magnifies this pressure—what if no one responds, or worse, what if someone unsubscribes or unfollows? Many coaches also worry about being “too much” (annoying or salesy) or “not enough” (uninspiring or forgettable). Encountering crickets after putting heart into a message can sting, making it even scarier to try again.

At the root, marketing often feels like a test of worthiness, not just strategy. The inner critic pipes up with, “What if you say the wrong thing? What if you look foolish? What if you mess this up and people talk?” As a result, the desire for perfection can cause analysis paralysis—leading to procrastination, self-sabotage, and avoidance. The result is a cycle: anxiety about marketing leads to avoidance, which leads to less connection, which increases anxiety even more.

Why Slowing Down Is the Healthier Path

Slowing down isn’t laziness or falling behind—it’s a conscious strategy designed to preserve your energy, creativity, and mental wellness. In a world that glorifies hustle and instant results, giving yourself permission to pause can feel radical, but it’s necessary. When you intentionally slow your pace, you create mental room to breathe, think, and reset. This space allows clarity to emerge in your messaging and fresh ideas to take shape—things that frantic busyness often buries under stress.

Slowing down helps replace self-doubt and overwhelm with self-compassion and confidence. Instead of reacting with anxiety to every new marketing “must-do,” you learn to respond thoughtfully and stay grounded. This steady, intentional motion fosters resilience, so you can keep showing up week after week without burning out. It’s the difference between sprinting blindly and pacing yourself for a long, sustainable run.

In practice, slowing down means focusing on quality over quantity, valuing connection over quick wins, and trusting that consistent, purposeful actions lead to meaningful growth. Far from limiting momentum, this approach actually builds sturdy foundations that let your coaching business thrive with less stress and more joy.

Practical Tips for Calmer, More Effective Marketing

• Acknowledge anxiety and pinpoint root causes
  Name the worries—are you afraid of unsubscribes, or of not being “expert enough”? Naming them instantly takes away some of their power.

• Set realistic marketing goals
  Aim for achievable benchmarks, not Instagram highlight reels. Choose small, clear goals that build confidence (like sending one heartfelt email a week).

• Incorporate slow, intentional rituals
  Try box breathing, quick meditation, or a short walk before writing or sending emails. Calm brains make better decisions.

• Focus on progress, not perfection
  Break big projects into bite-size steps. Celebrate execution, not just results. Every send, post, or share is a win.

• Embrace empathetic storytelling
  Connect through genuine stories instead of manufactured urgency. Share real moments and lessons—these resonate far more than sales pitches.

Marketing your coaching business doesn’t have to be a sprint that leaves you breathless. When you slow your pace and trust your own process, you build resilience—and can show up as the calm, rebellious leader your clients need